Outgoing Introvert vs Shy Extrovert

As I was having brunch this afternoon, I was reminiscing. Texting through the magic of Whatsapp, where a group of about forty of my elementary school friends or shall I say, my childhood brothers and sisters, got together after twenty-five years in order to stay in touch. I could not help it but think about how different, yet still the same we all were Today.

I left Barranquilla, Colombia when I was thirteen years old. At the time when I was starting to step out of my shell. I had never gone out with a girl, as a matter of fact, I had never even been kissed. Well, except for those spin the bottle games and what we called the American hide and seek. I will never forget my last year living in my hometown, mostly because this was when things started to change for me. Up to that moment in my life, you would say without any doubt that I was a shy and introvert kid. Playing sports with my friends and cousins was what I called my social life.

Some of my most memorable memories of that last year are my first actual parties. I don't recall ever having so much stage fright as going to those dances or Minitecas as we called them in the eighties. I am actually not so sure as to what the panic was about, was it the girls? was it dancing? was I just excited? Well, coming to think about it, it was probably a bit of all those reasons and a few more. I don't think I've told many people this but I am so glad I took dancing lessons from my Mom and my little sister. One, two, three, four, turn, one, two, three, four. It did not matter what song came out, whatever the rhythm, the genre, or the beat. I was doing the only move I knew.

The feeling after these few parties went on and I started to understand what it was to actually get a girls attention, for more than just a joke or a homework question, was what started to get me out of that shell, I had been living in. I was realizing that my Shy self was a little more extrovert than I ever knew.

When I arrived in Miami in June 1989 it was like all the hard effort my Mother, sister, and my self had put on that last year had all gone down the drain. This was a new City, new Country, new school, new classes, new teachers, a new language, I mean I spoke good English but this was intimidating. The hardest part of all was having to start all over and making new friends.

How could I forget the first month in school? I had an arrangement with my Dad. He was to pick me up after school, not in front of the school where everyone waited, but in the back of the school. I would tell him that this was closer to my last class and that was the reason, but in reality, I had just gone back to that lonely place. I was a complete shy introvert.

I was very lucky to run into good people quite quickly. Even though I had never had any friends from any other place except my city, I started to hang out with friends from different nations. I would not be the person I am if it was not for my Peruvian and Venezuelan friends. I will always be grateful since they came up to me first. They invited me over to be part of their inner circle, opening my eyes to many things. The most important one being the fact that there was a very outgoing Extrovert person dying to come out.

The rest is history some would say. That shy kid from Barranquilla who did not know how to act in front of big groups of people, the kid who had never been kissed, the one with the not so smooth one dance move. Suddenly became the high school kid giving the longest presentations in class, started to make friends in every classroom, people from all kinds of nationalities, all kinds of languages, He became the one who danced in front of the whole school during the morning announcements. In regards to the kissing. I was thought well, to not kiss and tell.

My shy self was nowhere to be found. As a matter of fact, if you were to tell anyone from this time of my life that I used to be such an introvert and shy guy, they would not believe it. This is actually the same time when I started to get into this business. This is when I realized that I was good with people, that I enjoyed spending time with others, and that I was outgoing, therefore starting to promote parties was not such a bad idea. I can say without a doubt that when I started my business as a promoter I considered myself a very outgoing extrovert.

It was not until many years later that things started to change. I mean there were definitely many times when I questioned my self and my decisions. Times when I was not so sure if I was as outgoing as I used to. I started to become more business-oriented instead of party party partey!!!

I started to run into situations where all of a sudden I was shy. Times where I did not want to speak in public, times where I just wanted to be on my own or just spend time with my family. Times filled with doubts. Was this the wrong career choice? Was this a short-term job? Is this not my calling?

Thankfully those and all other questions have been getting answers as my life continues and I get not only older but wiser. Today I have decided to run my business differently from what I used to when I was eighteen years old. My priorities then were completely different from the ones I have nowadays. I have also decided to do other things that make me happy, I have decided to give back, and as you might know, I've decided to write. Not only this blog but write a book about my life as a promoter first and a nightlife entrepreneur now. The fact that I enjoy writing so much tells me something about my personality. Writers tend o be a bit more introvert than club promoters. Today I am still outgoing when I am at the clubs. I am an extrovert when it comes to public relations, I am shy when I have to talk about something I don't know much about and I am introvert when I am writing.

The correct definition for this would be that I am an ambivert. Let me explain this a little better. There is a scale. and this scale has five different levels, with extrovert on one side and introvert on the other end. If you are smack in the middle you are an ambivert. The definition of extrovert in case you have not looked for it already is an outgoing, overtly expressive person. On the other hand, an introvert is a shy reticent person. reticent being someone who does not reveal their thoughts.  

If you actually want to dig a little deeper into this subject I not only consider myself an ambivert but an ENFP Personality type. Click here if you want to know more about that.

Now, you might be asking yourself. Why in the world is this guy writing about his personality, how does that help me? what do I care? Well, the answer is quite simple. I want you to take a good look at yourself. What do you consider your personality to be? Even though I believe that with the right training and effort, everyone can become a nightclub promoter yet not everyone can become a nightlife entrepreneur. The closer you are to the middle the better we can work together on your new-found love.

P.S. if you are all the way to the right of the scale, you might be a bit crazy. But you still could be a great promoter.

So let's get to work.